Without Looking Back
by BrokenCheshireCat
Summary: Who knew that happiness was just a illusion? Ikuto sure didn't imagine it when he first met that family. And the person who would start it all. How far can a heart go from innocence to heartbreak? Ikuto centric with little Amuto and Tadamu. -on hold-


**Without Looking Back  
Rating:** K+  
**Pairings & Main Characters:** IkutoxAmu & TadasexAmu (_very_ slightly both; later); Utau, Tsukiyomi family, Hotori family, Tsukasa, Guardians  
**Summary: **Who knew that happiness was just a illusion? Ikuto sure didn't imagine it when he first met that family. And the person who would start it all. How far can a heart go from innocence to heartbreak? Ikuto centric with little Amuto and Tadamu.

**Author Notes: **About the pairing, you'll just have to see in the end.**  
Warnings: **This story contains some spoilers for chapter 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and 33 (although, somewhat slightly). You have been warned.**  
Disclaimer: **Don't own SC. If I did I would have the right to get pissed at Satelight for boring fillers like episode 45 -mumbles-

**Important Note:** This story will happen in two different times, the past and the present, being the only exception the epilogue (it will include both). All 12 chapters (including both the prologue and epilogue) will be in 3rd person, although it will still focus more on feelings and actions, instead of description; this is in order to adjust to my writing style. Odd chapters will be on the past, and even chapters will be on the present, starting with the prologue.

**Prologue**

During those small moments of consciousness, Ikuto thought about what had actually brought him into this kind of situation. True, he was a Tsukiyomi, and as such, was bond into Easter no matter what. In the beginning, he really didn't care about what his job was. Not that he had much to do, anyway. Utau, and in a way Sanjou, were the ones who took the eggs of people, looking for the (un)lucky egg that would make their wishes come true. Even Nikaidou would come up with plans to find the magic egg. To take revenge on his ex-girlfriend or to please Gozen, Ikuto couldn't tell.

Some time after the whole search began, about two years ago, he met her. She was everything that he was not, and that turned out to be a quite bad element in the little equation that was his life. Why he teased her in the beginning, he didn't know. What he _did_ know is that it brought really bad consequences. Being near Amu involved being near Tadase, and Utau being near himself. Bringing together the people that he had pushed away was not good. Definitely not good. And it had all been her fault.

Although the damn teasing had gone out of control, and he eventually felt in love with her, he knew for a fact that his life did not revolve around romance. He had other issues. Issues a bit more aggravate than competing with his best friend for the pink haired girl. Then again, Tadase probably had something to do with that.

Tadase... He was still his best friend, although said boy didn't know. Actually, they were in the bitter part of their friendship. But that disagreement has already been prolonging itself for too many years by now. Not that Tadase had really thought through about what made him so mad with Ikuto. It was just one aspect that made them on opposite sides of the "Embryo battle", and that person that definitely had poisoned Tadase's innocent mind.

He remembered those words well. And even though being hated by that person, and then by Tadase himself turned out to be painful, he held his ground, fought back the tears and smirked like he was having the time of his life. He couldn't go back now. Ikuto knew that all too well.

As such, the least that he knew he could do was keeping his beloved ones away from his life, from what Easter was capable of doing. Or maybe his real concern was that he was afraid of the helpless feelings of panic that would take over him, if anyone of his precious people would suffer near him.

Ikuto make a promise to himself to do it. He would make them hate him.

He tried to hurt Utau into leaving him, but the hurt came a in different kind of way. The way that he didn't want to. Easter used her, and almost crushed her. Thankfully, Amu once more came into the rescue, and saved Utau from both her desperate ways to save Ikuto, and from Easter, allowing Ikuto to feel, even if the slightest, relieved.

He hurt Tadase. _"Onii-tan! ONII-TAN!!"_

He hurt Amu. _"GET OUT OF HERE!"_

But mostly he hurt himself. So many times, that the pain hard turned numb. His spirit was as lifeless as his now controlled body.

Now he stood here on top of the Easter company, violin in one hand, and the bow in the other. Playing the music that once had been like a diary to him, always honestly showing his emotions more than his words could ever say. _"Ikuto's notes were a bit sad, but they were really pure"._ 'Pure, Amu?' Ikuto thought, with a slight nostalgic feeling welling in his heart. 'Look where that pureness brought me to...'

"Now, Ikuto. Play! Collect those X-eggs, and bring back the Embryo to me!" Stated the man Ikuto hated the most above all. But even so, anger was not strong enough to beat the sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach. He was lonely, and forced into doing something he didn't want to do. All he could do was smirk bitterly and hope that whoever was up there in heaven to end with this endless misery. Forever...

**-- End Prologue --**

Prologue here finally finished. Pretty short, but the next chapters will be longer than this...and better.

Although it's slightly angst in the past, the present will also hold humor (thought about this after seeing chapter 33 of the manga).

Hope you like it, and even thought you like Amuto that I write and stuff, I really want people to accept this story and like what I write. About 50 percent of what I write in here is real, with some guessing mixed in it and some teories that I have. If people really like the story, I'll see what I'll do with the amuto issue.

Oh, and bear with me. I'm trying hard to write this in 3rd POV, but if I fail in certain parts, I'll immediately switch back to 1st POV, okay? Hope you enjoy it.


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